Dirty Pick Up Lines That Might Get You Into Trouble

1. I’m not usually into hunting, but I’d love to catch you and mount you all over my house.
2. Hey girl, I’m a fully-fledged meteorologist and something’s telling me you’re in for a few inches tonight.
3. I might not be going down town later, but hopefully I’ll be going down on you.
4. People are talking about you behind your back. Wanna know what they’re saying? “Great tits”.
5. Why don’t you let me be your personal sealant and fill your crack in?
6. If you were Kim Jung Un you’d have no problem making me stand to attention.
7. Shakira was wrong, I’m definitely confusing your breasts with mountains.
8. Everyone prefers a sprint to a marathon, so do you feel like coming to mine for a quick one?
9. Can you start printing out some missing person posters? I’m gonna have you tied up for a long
10. Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass.
11. Are you an eco-friendly kind of girl? The condom in my pocket goes out of date tomorrow, so why don’t you help me use it?
12. Hey cutie, you’re looking a little short on accessories. I’ve got one that’d look great in your mouth.
13. I can tell you’re into yoga, why don’t you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are?
14. Usually my favorite planet is Pluto, but I reckon it could be Uranus if you let me explore it.
15. Wanna know the difference between a unicorn horn and an erection? I don’t have a unicorn horn right now.
16. I’ve heard the population is on the slide, why don’t we do something about that tonight?
17. I don’t think I want your babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.
18. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong?
19. I’m pretty bad at swimming, can I use your assets as a buoyancy aid?
20. Do you need a personal boobs holder? I’m out of a job at the minute, but I’ll happily volunteer for you.
21. It’s kind of slutty when girls give blowjobs to strangers, so let’s get acquainted first shall we?
22. I ran out of tooth floss this morning and dental hygiene is important to me. Mind if I use your pubic hair?
23. Do you need a running partner? I can give you a shot of protein when we’re finished.
24. All beautiful ladies deserve a pearl necklace and I’m just the man to give you one.
25. Are you into food play? You can be the pasta and I’ll let you mix yourself up with my balls.
26. I’d love to see you wearing your birthday suit
27. Can you put your hair into pigtails for me? It’ll make it easier for me to ride you.
28. Does your job blow? You might as well blow me instead, at least one of us will be happy.
29. My nutritionist told me you are what you eat and I want to be a beautiful woman.
30. Want to take part in my exchange program? It involves bodily fluids.
31. Did you send the invitation to the party between your legs in the post or do you wanna give it to me in person?
32. Your ass is so tight I want to crack my nuts on it.
33. Your bra doesn’t look like it fits, do you want to try the free fitting service back at my place?
34. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.
35. Let’s play a game; I’ll be the trampoline and you can bounce on me.
36. Have you heard about the latest nuclear dramas? Well I’ve got something you can blow.
37. Want to save a life unzip pants I’m in need of some mouth-to-dick
38. Mind if I try and guess which part of your body you like having kissed the most?
39. My biology teacher told me that the lips are the most sensitive part of the body, wanna find out if she was right?
40. There are ten-thousand neurons in the end of my member and I want you to get every one of them firing.
41. Are you into alternative therapies? I’ve heard a good orgasm is good for any kind of pain.
42. Just to be clear, we’re both heading for the same bed tonight, right?
43. If we get to work now, we could have a fourth of July baby by next year.
44. You don’t need to go to Sephora for primer with the juices I’ll produce.
45. Have you ever been to Europe? Well, I’m European and I’ll let you come with me for free.
46. You know, there’s a space on my apartment floor that’s perfect for your clothes.
47. Would you like to add a new bone to your anatomy?
48. If you place your tits on my face I bet I can guess how much they weight.
49. If I correctly guess your bra size, do I get a prize? How about a BJ?
50. My fridge is full of your favorite breakfast food for when you wake up underneath me.
51. Why don’t you panic your parents and stay over at mine tonight without telling them?
52. Wanna see if you can add “has an awesome gag reflex” to your resume?
53. You’ll be the most popular girl in the office with the moves I’ll teach you.
54. I’ve heard there’s some treasure lost in your chest, wanna see if X marks the spot?
55. How would you like to be the next notch on my bed post?
56. I’ve recently qualified as a gynecologist and I’d like to offer you my pro-boner services.
57. I’ve got some oral skills I can teach. Don’t worry, you can pay in kind.
58. So do you take contactless payment or is it cash only?
59. Let’s see how many four-letter nicknames I can come up with for you while you bounce up and down on me.
60. I’ll make like the repot man and smash your back doors in.
61. I can think of an activity for us to do that rhymes with “muck”
62. Would you like to stroke my pet? He’ll grow for you if he likes you.
63. I’m a great circus master. Don’t believe me? Well then let me put my head in your mouth.
64. I’ve got a mouthwash you can use any time of the day.
65. Fucking unscrewing the wine, just screw me instead.
66. Want to find out what the best thing you can do with your lips is.
67. I’m into Australian culture. I love going down under.
68. I have tourette’s and only a good fuck will cure me.
69. I must have missed the slippery when we sign when I was walking towards you.
70. If I were your captain, I’d soon make your nipples stand to attention.
71. I’ve got something in my pants that’ll shut you up.
72. Shall we see how well you gargle with my cock in your mouth?
73. You remind me of a leaf blower. Do you need something to practice on?
74. Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?
75. I’ll cut to the chase – let’s just fuck.
76. I’ve been banned from playing Tapped Out. Can I just tap you instead?
77. My Sims just had babies and now I’m jealous. How about we make sure we’re even with them?
78. How many drinks will it take for you to sit on my face?
79. Shall we see if I’m allergic to your juices?
80. Cancel all your plans for this evening, you’re doing me until the sun goes down.
81. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
82. Are you missing a chromosome, because you seem very special to me.
83. Let’s play a little TSA roleplay. Now, bend over and cough.
84. Sometimes I like to pretend I’m the Titanic. Why don’t you let me go down on you?
85. Girl are you an iceberg? Because you’re making me want to go down.
86. I wouldn’t risk arrest for public indecency for just anyone. You, however…
87. You’re so hot I’d suck the farts out of your ass.
88. My little friend spits when he’s happy. Want to see?
89. Put your icing away. I’ve got something you can frost with.
90. I can see into the future, and yeah, we’re gonna fuck at least once.
91. Rumor has it you like bouncing. I’ve got something you can bounce on.
92. I’d love to explore the box your virginity came in.
93. I know, you be the coffee and I’ll give you some creamer for free.
94. My right hand is tired. Would you like to help it rest?
95. Hey, you just cured my erectile dysfunction. Go you.
96. Shall we see how well our genes mix?
97. Your tits are so beautiful I won’t even pretend to know where your face is.
98. Don’t worry about drinking your calories, I’ll help you burn them off.
99. Can you tell me what time your legs open, please?
100. What’s the entry fee for your grand leg opening event?
101. A part of me is tense and I think you’re perfect for easing it.
102. Want to make a cocktail? How about my bodily fluids and yours?