HMO-No News: Like-Treats-Like!
Everyone knows the ancient medical saying "Like Cures Like." Why, just the sound of it cheers the sickest patient. HMO-NOs new Like-Treats-Like Plan is for patients who know what they like to hear. Under this plan, if youre in luck youll come down with a diagnosable illness such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, Crohns disease, cervical cancer, dropsy -- or any of 2600 other approved medical conditions. When you do, well let you visit a doctor who has suffered or is suffering from that same disease or ailment.* You re guaranteed to receive knowledgeable, first-hand sympathy!
HMO-NO. Because we care about you, and your pocketbook.
*One in-clinic consultation guaranteed per ailment. Medical advice and/or treatment will be offered if available, and may incur extra fees. We reserve the right to substitute a better ailment if yours is not available.
© Copyright 2002 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)