The Coffee Diet
A simple diet that really works
We have developed simple new diet for people who want to lose weight.
It is based on the consumption of coffee.
Big Public Need
Much of the public is overweight. Studies indicate that excess body weight
is a leading risk indicator for heart disease, and for a variety of systemic
ailments. Studies also show that nearly all diets are ineffective, because
most people can't keep up the needed regimen.
Our new diet is very effective. It requires no lifestyle changes, and little
modification to anyones current eating habits. The regimen is not
only easy to maintain, it is virtually addictive.
The New Diet
The diet consists of drinking coffee, as much as possible, as often as
Once cup of coffee contains about 100 milligrams of caffeine. After drinking
a cup, a persons resting metabolic rate increases by as much as ten
percent. For those unused to drinking coffee, the rise can be even larger.
Benefits of the Diet
An elevated metabolic rate means that your body is consuming more calories
than usual. Your body uses these calories even if you are just sitting there,
doing nothing except breathing. Over a span of days or weeks, a net loss
in calories translates to a weight loss.
With the coffee diet, you will feel more alert. You will reclaim the hours you now waste sleeping, so you will burn more calories throughout the night.
And thanks to the caffeine's diuretic effects, you will never suffer from the discomfort and unsightly bloat of feminine water retention.
The Diet For You
To sum up: drink coffee, and you will lose weight. Drink more coffee, and you will lose more weight. Its simple. Its pleasant. And before you know it, you will be a slimmer, trimmer, much more vibrant person than you had ever imagined possible.
© Copyright 2000 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)